| Once again we are approaching one of the most | | | | holiday displays that bring the magic of the |
| anticipated and complex times of the year. The | | | | holidays and opportunities for quality time spent |
| holidays are complicated because we all bring the | | | | together. This year try to put a price on your |
| baggage of years of memories and traditions that | | | | time and say that instead of spending $100 on a |
| we have acquired and try to make the present | | | | video game I will spend $100 worth of time taking |
| accommodate our pasts. When we become | | | | an evening drive with my kids looking at holiday |
| parents this is complicated by trying to translate | | | | light displays. Your child will value this time more |
| those memories into experience for our children. | | | | and remember you are giving them memories |
| Separation and divorce will impact this dynamic | | | | that will last a lot longer than that video game. |
| even more. But the important thing to remember | | | | Begin early to work with your ex-spouse to |
| is that our traditions are not written in stone and | | | | coordinate gift giving and be sure to set strict |
| new experiences can quickly become beloved and | | | | limits on spending. Trying to outdo each other will |
| valuable traditions. | | | | only cause a great deal of stress and place an |
| Couples with children who are divorced go through | | | | unfair financial burden on you both. But keep in |
| many unique trials as they approach the holidays. | | | | mind, when you set these spending limits, stick to |
| Many parents overcompensate for the changes | | | | them religiously. Keep the lines of communication |
| their children have undergone by over spending | | | | open between you and your ex so you know |
| and trying to out do each other in gift giving. Even | | | | what each other is buying and try to buy |
| parents who are not divorced go into massive | | | | complementary gifts like hats and scarves to |
| debt trying to give their children everything under | | | | match a new coat or earrings to match a new |
| the sun because they think it demonstrates their | | | | bracelet. |
| love. But when we grow as parents we learn to | | | | There are many ways to make the holidays |
| show our love in other ways that, in actuality, are | | | | special and meaningful for your children and many |
| truer representations of our affection and | | | | of them don't cost a thing. An evening project |
| devotion. | | | | making a gingerbread house or cookies, making |
| In my hometown, the Chicago area, we are | | | | ornaments for the tree, or making holiday music |
| blessed with so many great attractions, | | | | CD mixes are all activities you can all join in |
| museums, and parks that have the makings of | | | | together and, though we may think it's out of |
| great holiday memories and spending time with | | | | fashion, but the best parts of the holidays are |
| your children visiting a location like Navy Pier or | | | | those we spend together making new and unique |
| Brookfield Zoo will start new traditions. Every | | | | memories. |
| community offers wonderful light shows and | | | | |