| Christmas, is a time of fun, joy and celebration, | | | | that taking control of your stress will give you |
| but it can also be the most stressful of times for | | | | and write them all down as this gives you clarity |
| even the best of parents, with the family home | | | | and motivation to make a positive change. |
| chaotic and often besieged by visitors. Throw into | | | | Remember that stress drains your energy and |
| the mix over excited children who have weeks to | | | | always has a huge negative impact on you and |
| sit around at home and the situation can quickly | | | | your family. If you run on empty for too long, |
| spiral out of control. | | | | you run out - your family needs you to be |
| Keeping your children calm and entertained will be | | | | energised, upbeat and happy. |
| the key to helping keep the peace and getting | | | | Start to manage your stress by taking energy |
| through the Christmas holiday period with as few | | | | breaks and making dates with yourself. Write |
| hiccups as possible. But before you begin to think | | | | down a list of all the little things you can do to |
| about your children make sure you give yourself | | | | replenish your batteries, put back a spring in your |
| some time each day to relax and unwind. It is | | | | step, which makes your eyes shine and has you |
| really important with so much going on around | | | | singing in the shower again! Is it enjoying a cup of |
| you that you make time for yourself, keep your | | | | green tea, sitting down quietly for 15 minutes in |
| energy levels high and remain positive in order to | | | | the kitchen, or taking a long, hot bath? |
| keep on top of everything ' successful parents will | | | | Just become more aware of taking time out for |
| look after themselves as well as their kids, setting | | | | yourself each day, each week and each month. |
| an example of behaviour that their children can | | | | And make a promise to yourself to do these little |
| look up to and imitate. | | | | things on a regular basis. Put some simple dates in |
| Here are a few practical tips to help you and your | | | | your diary so you get into the habit of making |
| children have the happiest Christmas ever: | | | | these treats an everyday occurrence. |
| - Make time for both you and your kids: provide | | | | I do a lot of work during my workshops on |
| times of the day where you will be together and | | | | helping parents learn how to get into a positive |
| uninterrupted (don't even answer the phone!). | | | | parenting mindset or attitude as it's all about how |
| Similarly make sure that at least once a week | | | | you feel that makes the biggest difference in |
| you give yourself enough time to do things you | | | | your family relationships. |
| want without distractions. | | | | The following exercise is just one way to take |
| - Organise group and family activities to keep | | | | back control when you feel that everything is |
| your children as active as possible, such as making | | | | spiralling out of control: |
| Christmas cards, decorations or wrapping | | | | Relax and breathe slowly and deeply. |
| presents. | | | | Allow your shoulders to drop. Allow your whole |
| - Homework: - provide your children with some | | | | body to relax. |
| options as to when they should do their | | | | - Mentally give yourself a gift ' the gift of being |
| homework. If possible try to get them to | | | | peaceful and relaxed now. |
| complete this early in the holidays as the later | | | | Imagine what you really want to achieve. |
| they leave it the less motivated they will be. | | | | Imagine what you can see and hear and imagine |
| - Give your children a sense of routine, keeping to | | | | how you feel. |
| weekly events. You could also provide them with | | | | Turn the colours of the picture up brighter and |
| some added responsibilities such as some regular | | | | the sounds you can hear louder, and make the |
| housework. They could then complete this in | | | | feelings more intense. |
| return for being allowed to watch the TV for a | | | | Really step inside your picture and enjoy the |
| little while extra etc. This will give you a little | | | | warm feelings of joy and success, pleasure and |
| respite and reminds your children that holidays are | | | | pride. See yourself smiling. Feel content and happy |
| not simply an excuse to do nothing at all. | | | | knowing that you have done a good job. |
| - When disputes break out between siblings try to | | | | Make the sounds louder, the colours brighter and |
| remain calm as this helps to prevent their | | | | the feelings stronger and bring the pictures and |
| squabbles escalating. Take them both to one side | | | | sounds and feelings really close to you, and then |
| and explain the behaviour that you do want to | | | | clench your fist tightly. |
| see very clearly and specifically. Focus on the | | | | As you clench your fist, remind yourself of this |
| positive things you see and hear and give praise | | | | amazing experience. Breathe deeply and slowly, |
| when your child does something you want to see | | | | savouring, remembering, and relishing these |
| ' no matter how small this may be. | | | | wonderful feelings, sounds and pictures. |
| Coping with stress | | | | Breathe deeply and become aware of the sounds |
| Bringing up children isn't always easy. Many | | | | in the room. |
| challenges, frustrations, and changes are involved | | | | Feel your feet on the ground and your body on |
| in raising happy, confident, well-balanced children ' | | | | your chair. Start to come back to where you are |
| tomorrow's adults. | | | | and now and open your eyes. |
| Eliminating stress takes time. You just have to | | | | You can have this wonderful feeling anytime you |
| experiment with lots of different ways until you | | | | want it ' when your kids won't brush their teeth |
| find something that works for you or a | | | | or tidy their bedrooms. You can have it when |
| combination of methods that suits you ' | | | | you're late, tired or grumpy. You can choose to |
| acupuncture, aromatherapy massage, working | | | | have this experience anytime you need it. Simply |
| out, having a candlelit bath, watching TV, enjoying | | | | clench your fists and the feeling returns to you |
| a cup of herbal tea, or chatting to a friend are | | | | easily. |
| just some ways to help you feel in control of | | | | And finally... |
| your life. | | | | A simple physical change you can make is to just |
| Stress management has now become a routine | | | | start smiling. This may sound crazy, but merely |
| part of large businesses as they have realised | | | | smiling actually sends a message to your brain |
| that handling stress positively increases efficiency | | | | that makes you feel better straight away as it |
| and well being. So start this week to take notice | | | | releases endorphins which make you feel good. |
| of where you are becoming overwhelmed or | | | | Try it for yourself and see the difference! |
| feeling stressed and write down the things that | | | | So the next time you feel everything is getting |
| make you feel out of control and anxious. This will | | | | on top of you don't panic or get angry, simply |
| help you to notice a pattern and will help you to | | | | start by pressing your own internal pause button, |
| make some small changes that will make a big | | | | taking three deep slow breaths in and out and |
| difference in your life. | | | | feel yourself getting grounded and centred. And |
| I remember the first time I did this exercise as it | | | | remember to be patient with yourself, learning |
| was a bright, sunny, early Saturday morning. I had | | | | new ways to cope and breaking old habits takes |
| been up since 5.20 and by 5.35 am we had | | | | time. |
| already taken out the paint pots, painted a | | | | Always keep the big picture in mind, parenting is |
| rainbow, castle and a kangaroo -played with the | | | | not always easy but the rewards and happiness |
| play-doh, and the building blocks and I thought...... | | | | you get in the long run always make it all worth |
| "Help it's going to be along day!!" | | | | while and remember you are creating the |
| Remember you're not alone in feeling this way! | | | | memories that last a lifetime. |
| Overwhelmed and stressed are two words many | | | | "It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. |
| parents use to describe their situations when they | | | | As much as we watch to see what our children |
| come to me for coaching and although feeling | | | | do with their lives, they are watching us to see |
| slightly stressed is often described as normal, you | | | | what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to |
| must tackle your parenting challenges head on if | | | | reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, |
| you want to feel generally more in control of | | | | myself." Joyce Maynard |
| your life' don't let stress take control of you. | | | | Have a wonderful Christmas! |
| Take some time here to think of the benefits | | | | |