| Well, it's finally over. No more attorneys and | | | | parents when you are no longer partners. No |
| decisions have been made. Now you have to | | | | matter what form of custody you have, no |
| make it work for your children and yourself. Now | | | | matter what division of the kid's time has been |
| it is time to create a new beginning. | | | | developed, you and your former partner need to |
| After a divorce you are essentially redefining and | | | | define a shared and respectful role as parents. A |
| restructuring your parenting roles and duties that | | | | couple of quick tips to make transitioning between |
| now exist in two separate households. Secondly, | | | | homes more enjoyable: respect your ex-partner's |
| you have to redefine your personal life and get | | | | time and schedule. If you are going to be late, call |
| on with your new life. Your new challenges at this | | | | and let them know. Do not comment on the |
| stage are managing separate households, | | | | other parent's lifestyle or household. Don't judge |
| connecting with your ex-spouse as co-parents | | | | or criticize the other parent's life or home. Children |
| and not partners, and developing new social ties | | | | do not need to be caught in the middle of your |
| as a single adult. | | | | opinions or power struggles. Realize that life does |
| So how do you manage separate households? | | | | go on after a divorce and there is a high likelihood |
| The most important thing to realize and maybe | | | | that there will be another companion entering |
| the toughest to get over is that the old household | | | | your ex-partner's life. Remember, you are always |
| can never exist again. No matter how hard you | | | | the parent to your child. No one replaces you as a |
| try to recreate it, the old household is gone. | | | | parent, but do encourage good relationships with |
| Instead of trying to make everything exactly the | | | | new people in your kid's lives. Again, kids do not |
| same put your efforts into making your new | | | | belong in the middle of adultemotions. |
| environment comfortable and pleasant. Maybe you | | | | How do you develop new social ties for yourself? |
| never decorated your own place before and your | | | | Social isolation is not healthy following a divorce. A |
| taste as a single parent is much different than | | | | lot of parents throw themselves headfirst into |
| when you were with your spouse. Bring out your | | | | parenting after a divorce and while that is a great |
| creativity. Make your home a place where you | | | | thing, you need to develop a new support system |
| and your kids will want to be. Have some fun with | | | | for yourself to be a healthy parent. Push yourself |
| your new home. Let the kids decorate their | | | | to go out with friends and co-workers. Reconnect |
| rooms. They will enjoy having something different | | | | with old friends before you were married. Take |
| from their old room. Make it a positive experience. | | | | up new activities; join a gym, a church, |
| How do you reconnect as single parents rather | | | | synagogue, join a support group or an |
| than partners? | | | | organization. There are plenty of people out there |
| This is tough and probably one of the most | | | | waiting to connect with you and enjoy you as a |
| difficult aspects of co-parenting is learning to be | | | | friend. You have to put yourself out there. |