| Anticipatory grief - a feeling of loss before a | | | | GET ENOUGH SLEEP. You've probably thinking, |
| death or dreaded event occurs - is a hard | | | | "Yeah, right." But you need sleep to survive the |
| journey. Holidays make it even harder. At a time | | | | holidays. Getting enough sleep is hard to do with |
| when you're supposed to feel happy and joyful, | | | | so many holiday events going on. However, you |
| you feel sad and anxious. You're on pins and | | | | may be selective about what you attend, leave |
| needles and wonder what will happen next. | | | | early, and get a good night's sleep. Balance a late |
| Remember, your grief stems from love, and you | | | | night with a short nap the next day. |
| may find comfort in that. Holidays don't erase | | | | LIGHT YOUR WAY. Vanerbilt University wellness |
| your reasons for feeling sad and lonely, according | | | | experts say more people get depressed during |
| to the National Mental Health Association, and | | | | the holidays than at any other time. Some of |
| "there is room for these feelings to be present." | | | | these people have Seasonal Affective Disorder |
| So accept your feelings and, if you feel like crying, | | | | (SAD). If you live in a cold climate and the days |
| go ahead and do it. | | | | are short you may wish to be evaluated for SAD. |
| Crying will help you to feel better. Here are some | | | | Phototherapy (intense lighting) is usualy |
| other ways you can help yourself. | | | | recommended for those with SAD. Even if you |
| BE REALISTIC. You don't have to create a | | | | don' have SAD well lit rooms will lift your spirits. |
| "perfect" holiday. Do you really need to knit | | | | EXERCISE. Daily physical activity is a proven way |
| sweaters for everyone? No. Do you really need | | | | to cope with stress. Walk around town or the |
| to serve a six course meal? No. What you need | | | | local mall and look at holiday decorations. Play |
| to do is set realistic goals, get organized, and pace | | | | catch with your kids or grandkids. Bundle up and |
| yourself. Rather than focusing on one day, the | | | | go cross country skiing. A half hour of physical |
| National Mental Health Association recommends | | | | activity per day helps to chase the blues away. |
| focusing on "a season of holiday sentiment." | | | | BE CONCILATORY. According to family tensions |
| ASK FOR HELP. You don't need to do everything | | | | may flare during the holidays if members are |
| yourself. Family members and friends will be glad | | | | "thrust together for several days." Holidays aren't |
| to help with planning, decorating, and cooking. One | | | | the time to settle family disputes, they're a time |
| family member could bring a traditional dish, such | | | | for concilatory and kind behavior. Discuss family |
| as pumpkin pie. Another family member could | | | | grievances at a later date. |
| provide linens and launder them afterwards. Your | | | | HELP OTHERS. Holidays are associated with |
| request for help makes others feel needed. | | | | families and togetherness according to Jill |
| BUDGET. Finances can cause stress at any time, | | | | RachBeisel, MD, Director of Community Psychiatry |
| but they cause lots of stress during the holidays. | | | | at the University of Maryland. But, due to the |
| Set a budget for gifts, decorations, and | | | | divorce rate and fragmented families, many don't |
| entertaining. Staying within your budget will make | | | | have this kind of holiay experience. Still, you may |
| you feel better about the holidays and yourself. | | | | connect with a substitute family by volunteering a |
| Your gifts don't have to be new. Holiays are a | | | | a senior center, reading to shut-ins, or tutoring |
| perfect time to pass along family possessions - a | | | | children. |
| flower vase, historic photo, or beloved book. Stick | | | | MAKE NEW MEMORIES. The memories you make |
| a short note about the item in with your gift. | | | | during this holiday season may comfort you in the |
| EAT RIGHT. Because nutrition affects brain | | | | future. Take digital photos of holiday events and |
| chemistry, you need to eat balanced meals during | | | | put them on a CD. Send copies of the CD to all |
| the holidays. Yummy as they look, pass up the | | | | family members. Every family has stories to tell |
| candy and cookies that come your way. Choose | | | | and you may create new memories by tape |
| lots of fruits and veggies from the buffet table | | | | recording some of these stories. You may also |
| and one dessert. Keeping a supply of healthy | | | | videotape holiday events. |
| snacks on hand will also help you to eat right. | | | | SAVOR THE MOMENT. Though you are sorrowful, |
| DRINK MODERATELY. Alcohol makes the holiday | | | | you're alive, able to be with those you love and |
| blues worse, according to the National Mental | | | | care about. Surround yourself with life: family |
| Health Association. Too much alcohol can cause | | | | members, dear friends, colorful flowers, a |
| you to say things you'll regret later. If you drink | | | | tail-wagging dog, and hobbies that make you |
| alcohol, drink in moderation or skip it all together. | | | | happy. For every moment of life - even the |
| Drink sparkling cider, non-alcoholic punch, or | | | | sorrowful ones - is a miracle. |
| flavored water instead of alcohol. | | | | |